Browse through these frequently asked questions or click on the question to be immediately forwarded to an answer.
Why should I join a support group like SPAFA?
Can I join SPAFA if I don't live inn Charlotte?
Why do you charge a fee to join SPAFA?
What is offered at the meetings?
Do you offer any workshops other than the meetings?
What are some tips for prospective adoptive families?
Do you have to be married and without children to adopt?
Why did you choose to adopt domestically?
Why did you choose to adopt Internationally?
What was your biggest fear about Domestic Adoption?
How did you overcome that fear?
What is your biggest fear about International Adoption?
How did you overcome that fear?
How do you know if the adoption professional or agency you are considering is reputable?
No! We are a support group for those interested in adoption. We support our members from getting started to post placement to parenting. We do not endorse any particular agency or agencies.
Why should I join a support group like SPAFA?
You get the benefit of meeting people that have successfully completed adoptions. This can do wonders to de-mystify the adoption process to a newcomer. The availability of experienced adoptive parents, the access to agency representatives and other resources and be invaluable to those not only starting the adoption process, but during "the wait". The openness to discuss and share adoption experiences and the emotional support offered can make the difference between feeling alone out there and feeling hopeful and confident. You and your child can also make lasting friendships.
Can I join SPAFA if I don't live in Charlotte?
Absolutely. Hopefully you live close enough to join us at our meetings, the second Tuesday of each month, but if not you can still get adoption information from our monthly newsletter.
Why do you charge a fee to join SPAFA?
We charge an annual fee of $40 or $120 for 5 years. The majority of your membership fee is used to cover the cost of running our meetings and printing, postage and paper for our newsletter.
What is offered at the meetings?
We generally have a panel or professional that addresses post placement issues and a separate breakout session that covers post placement issues. We vary that somewhat as we might choose to discuss International and Domestic adoptions in the two presentations, IF you look at the calendar on the website you will see what we have scheduled for the remainder of the year. In addition to our presenters, we have share time and new arrivals. The new arrivals are presentation of children that have come home and are ready to meet their SPAFA family. A lot can be learned from the new arrival presentations in that these families have successfully adopted and are ready to share their story, the good and the bad.
Do you offer any workshops other than the meetings?
We offer a getting started workshop which will take place twice a year. The first one is usually in February and the second in August. We also hold an Adoption Expo annually. The expo is comprised if adoption agencies and professionals set up in booths that you can ask all your questions, meet face to face and gather lots of information. Also during the Expo, SPAFA conducts workshops on Domestic and International Adoption and How to get started. The Expo usually takes place in late October or early November. We also offer 1/2 day workshops as needed on various topics.
What are some tips for prospective adoptive families?
Read and educate yourself! Always do your homework and look at the situation objectively.
Join an adoptive support group. It is always easier to tackle a project with the support of others.
Prepare yourself and your family. Get ready for the transition of becoming a family or increasing your family size.
Be forgiving of yourself. It is okay to get frustrated, stressed and emotional during the process.
Remember to live your life. Take care of yourself, your relationships and have fun while you wait. Don't get so absorbed that you forget what you have today.
The home study is an assessment and preparation process that a prospective family undergoes to determine, among other things, whether they are ready to parent a child and what type of child would best fit into the family. The home study is completed by a licensed social worker that must meet the requirements for the type of adoption you have chosen.
Choose a professional first and they will let you know when the home study needs to be completed based on the type of adoption.
Do you have to be married and without children to adopt?
No. Single people, couples without children and families who already have children through birth or prior adoption can adopt. However, some agencies and foreign countries have specific requirements for the marital status, age, number of children or the religion of the individuals who adopt their children.
Why did you choose to adopt domestically?
Some reasons are preference of a newborn, good medical records are available, knowledge of birthparents and birthfamily, possible involvement during the pregnancy and birth, etc.
Why did you choose to adopt Internationally?
Extended unknown wait to be chosen by the birthmother is not a concern with international adoption, total private adoption, respect and admiration of a foreign culture, expenses are clearly defined up front, lower risk of adoption failure, etc.
What was your biggest fear about Domestic Adoption?
I was afraid that the birthmother would change her mind and decide to parent.
How did you overcome that fear?
You have to believe in your agency in that they have provided the resources the birthmother and her family need. You also have to believe that with adoption it is not an if, it is a when. There will be a child for you when the right situation is presented. If this birthfamily decides to parent, as hard as it will be on everyone involved, it is probably not the right child for you.
What is your biggest fear about International Adoption?
The general health and care of the infant prior to bringing him / her home.
How did you overcome that fear?
Open communication with the agency and by arranging a preadoption trip to meet the child prior to the completion of the adoption.
Open adoption means that birthparents and adoptive parents have some knowledge about one another. The birthparents may even help choose the adoptive parents. Adoptive parents and their children know medical and genetic information about the birthfamily. The degree of openness can vary in every situation.
How do you know if the adoption professional or agency you are considering is reputable?
Check with the state licensing office for licensing validation and complaints.
Ask for references in your area that have both placed successfully and not placed successfully.
If someone wants all of the money for the adoption up front, you should ask a lot of questions and be extremely cautious.